Introduction

Manual Overview

BOOK I: Faith Community Curriculum for Clergy and Lay Leaders
- Curriculum Outline
- Instructions
- Supplies Checklist
- Room Checklist
- Educator Qualities
- Key Issues and Points
- Course Objectives
- Part 1-A: Introductions
  and Opening Comments
- Part 1-B: Elements and Dynamics
  of Domestic Abuse
- Part 1-C: Barriers
- Part 1-D: “Broken Vows” Video
- Part 2-A: Awareness Raising
Part 2-B: What to Say and Do
- Part 2-C: What Congregations
  Can Do
- Part 3: Closure
- Handouts list

BOOK II: Family Violence: Helping Survivors and Abusers
A Manual for Faith Communities

BOOK III: Pastor’s Packet: Family Violence Awareness Materials for Pastors

BOOK IV: Curriculum for Laity

Appendix

Part 2-B: What to Say and Do

Desired Time:

• 65 – 110 minutes

Purpose:

• Provide practical information about appropriate interventions
• Clarify clergy and leader boundaries when a survivor or abuser has been identified
• Direct participants to local resources

Strategies:

• Discussion of actions you can take 10 – 30 minutes
• Community resources and legalities 10 – 20 minutes
• Scenarios 45 – 60 minutes

Tips:

• When covering actions you can take, be sure to reference the handout “Family Violence: Helping Survivors and Abusers” to stimulate later reading (beginning on page 35).
• During the advocate presentation, have handouts addressing resources.

Content

Actions that people can take

State:

• Become informed. The more you can recognize signs, the better help you can be. Refer to “Indicators of possible abuse.”
• “Be comfortable asking questions. Be sure the setting is confidential. Refer to “Asking a question: Is your partner hurting you?”
• Respond with an attitude of openness, lack of judgment, acceptance and support. Refer to “Suggested responses when someone discloses abuse.”
• Use words of comfort and affirmation.
  – “I am so sorry this happened to you.”
  – “You don’t deserve it. You did not cause this to happen.”
  – “It must have taken a lot of courage for you to tell me this.”
  – “There is help for you.”
• One of your most important roles is spiritual support. Use phrases such as:
  – “God loves you. God does not want anyone to be hurt in this way.”
  – “I do not believe God is punishing you.”
  – “Would you like it if we pray together?”
• Your prime focus should be a goal of safety for the survivor and ending the violence.
  – “Take fear of danger very seriously.”
  – “Do not put yourself at risk.”
  – “Seek help from local advocates.” (See Safety Plan)
• Abusers must be held accountable!

Resources and legalities
Community advocates are the best source of information and are usually willing to communicate their role, what is available in the community, and how they can help. Their presentation should include:

• Community resources available to survivors
• Resources available to abusers
• Function of their agency
• Mention of other agencies that are resources
• Information about legalities: what is and is not reportabl
• Note Resource list

Scenarios
This component of the seminar brings everything together in practical discussions. The expertise of the educators is essential.

Directions:

• Form small groups of three to five people
• Provide copies of the scenario packet to each of them (see Appendix)
• Assign a different scenario to each group
• Direct participants to read their scenario, then discuss using the questions provided to stimulate discussion
• Allow 10 minutes for small group discussion
• Bring the large group back together and debrief each scenario
  – Reference Book II as a resource
  – Emphasize the expertise and skills present in the room
  – Allow them to problem solve together as a group and identify their strengths and goals for this work