Introduction

Manual Overview

BOOK I: Faith Community Curriculum for Clergy and Lay Leaders

BOOK II: Family Violence: Helping Survivors and Abusers – A Manual for Faith Communities
Purpose
Definitions
Survivors:
   - Characteristics
   - Indicators of Abuse
   - Actions to Consider
   - Safety Concerns
   - Crisis Counseling and
      Spiritual Support
   - Asking a question:
      Is your partner hurting you?
Abusers (batterers):
   - Understanding Abusers
   - Interventions
   - Treatment
   - Safety Issues
   - Use of Scripture
Marriage and Relationship:
Understanding Scripture Intent
Marriage Preparation:
   - Key Elements
   - Early Warning Signs
   - I Corinthians 13
Supportive background materials:
   - ABC's of Men Who Batter
   - Abuser Quotes
   - Myths About Abusers
   - Self-Assessment Tool
   - Alexandra House Safety Plan
   - Checklist - What to take
     when you leave
Minnesota Metro
Community Resources
Sources and Acknowledgments

BOOK III: Pastor’s Packet: Family Violence Awareness Materials for Pastors

BOOK IV: Curriculum for Laity

Appendix

Abuser quotes

From the U.S. Department of Justice, U.S. Marines domestic violence curriculum.

"I don't want to hit her but she keeps nagging me. It is just like she wants me to hit her."

"The man is the head of the wife. I have the right to do what I have to do to keep things in order."

"Hitting actually helps both of us. It relieves all the tension I've built up, and it makes her behave. She treats me better and I treat her better after we've had a little fight."

"All I ever have to do is yell at her. I don't hit. I'm not a wife beater. She does what I tell her, and as long as she does I will never hit her."

"I just do what my Dad did, and they had a good marriage."

"If I was married to somebody else, this wouldn't happen. I'm not that kind of person."

"It must be okay. Last time we had a fight she went and saw her pastor and he sent her home."

"All I know is what I see on TV and what I see is people fighting and the stronger person winning."

"The military taught me that this life is the survival of the fittest. I'm a survivor and I ain't going to be dominated by any woman."

"I think secretly she likes it. I think she does it because she likes it when we make up."

"Look, I've a responsibility to my family. I go out and make a living and she stays home and takes care of the kids. If she isn't going to pull her own weight I'm not going to let her get away with it. They wouldn't let me get away with it at work. Anyway, the guys at work think it is all right to hit once in a while if the wife really needs it. It's just part of marriage."

"I love my wife. If I didn't love my wife, I wouldn't hit her. I'd just leave."

"Every once in a while you have to take her on a little trip to knuckle junction. When she comes back she is just like she was on the honeymoon."